i need control

as cliche as it is, i feel like the only thing i can control is eating. and im starting to get pride out of being able to go longer without eating. today i had two cups of coffee and two pieces of gum until abut seven, when i had a bit of salad and a piece of chicken. like 90% of me knows its not smart but the other 10% is clinging to something it can control. english coursework is due in friday and i cannot be bothered to make the changes. biology coursework is due in next week and its so boring and i dont know what else to do. chemistry coursework looks hideous and i dont even know how to begin a six page essay on chemilumescence. my aunt whose had breast cancer twice had a check up and today she had to have a biopsy and will probably have chemo which means they wont come over at christmas, and hopefully doesnt mean they wont move over next summer. my friend slept with my ex, and i know i broke up with him, but its still only been a month and its just wierd. i think im most upset that she did it thinking i'd be mad at her and obviously not caring, and not that its an excuse but they weren't even drunk. and thats just one more thing i dont have anymore. and then listening to everyone today talk about how he was boasting about it, and how she said he was amazing and everything. it just makes me feel so isolated and alone and i hate how pathetic i sound but i cant help it. i feel like im drifting away from all my friends and i cant even bring myself to care and i know its pathetic in everyway but i just dont know what to do. and im scared to admit how dependent i am on this one guy, who isnt even remotley interested and the complications surrounding him are unbelievable. its enough to make you want to give up.