Following on from the previous post, which I don't entirely remember if I'm honest, as it was Monday, and now we're on Thursday. That's a long time. I would say, I have a better outlook now. I still feel a bit lonely sometimes, but I'm trying to remind myself that you don't make best friends in a week. Just got off skype to my two best friends, having spoken for two hours, and it reminded me that I always have them, they're only a phone call away, and missing them doesn't mean I don't like university, it just means they're good friends. It also reminded me that it took me about a year to become that close to them, and its been seven years now and that's why we're so close. My course seems more manageable, still difficult, but something I can at least approach which is good. I do like my flatmates, they're very different to me, but that's okay. I have this slight sensation of being a little 'lost', but I think that's okay. I reckon if by Christmas, I still don't feel settled, I'll worry about it. Then of course, everyone will go home for a month and come back and be unsettled again. Then we have to start house-hunting for next year, what is this?! I do think it'll be okay, I guess I just didn't imagine I'd miss everyone as much as I do, and the first week was so busy I didn't really have time to - now I do. I am slightly tearful at times, but I've cried at sillier things. I really like the girls in my other group, and talking to some other people today I hadn't really met reminded me that everyone's friendly, and I'm just freaking myself out about it. So sleep time, LONG day tomorrow. Here's to accepting that not everything snaps into place in a week, it takes time to adjust, and I should give myself that time. Out.

Look on the Brightside

So I'm at medical school; what I've been aiming towards for a good few years. I've had a great Fresher's week - and I'm still alive. I like my flatmates, I like my room, I like my course, I've met loads of people. I don't mean to always moan, I know how amazing it is that I'm here, and I am glad to be here. That doesn't stop that it feels...off. Like something's missing. Everyone's nice, but I don't have a best friend. That's stupid, cause actually I have lots of best friends - the best friends in the entire world. They just don't happen to be at this university. Also, I've been here a week; who makes best friends in a week?! I have far too hight expectations, these things take time. I feel slightly out of it: my flatmates seem more together, I sometimes feel like I'm hovering on the edge. Only sometimes though, sometimes I feel like I fit in perfectly, and we're all laughing about Ben casually saying he could have malaria, and putting post-it notes on our window to write Flat 147. It's too much to expect everyone to come perfectly together in one week. I didn't make the friends I have now in a week. Calm down. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't homesick at all. It only really hit me tonight, I'd been too busy to consider it. Then I got this lonely feeling, and just wanted to be able to have a hug and someone make me dinner. Guess it's a it pathetic, but then again, maybe everyone had moments like this: who says it's just me? The course is so overwhelming. There is so much to learn, I got so caught up in starting a degree, that I forgot you actually have to learn something. I'm still not quite sure on the lecture from earlier, but that may be due to me being half asleep in it. Need to not do that. I ordered a histology book, and I have the anatomy one already. I do need the cell one, but everyone says not to buy it, so I might try to find it in the library. Deep down, I know it'll work out and come together, but right now...it's all a bit much, and I just want my mom. Even at eighteen. Ah well. In the interest of remaining awake during lectures tomorrow, this will be continued at a later date.